(I don't have a choice) but I still choose you
by MustBeAWriter
Summary: post-ep for "Many Heads, One Tale" in which Jemma has lost any chill she might have had left and Fitz is exceptionally obtuse


(Jemma)

She lies awake for hours, tossing and turning as sleep evades her, and it's all _his_ bloody fault. Fitz. Her best friend who kissed her senseless mere hours ago, and then stormed off muttering about being cursed while she tried to remember how to breathe properly.

And now she can't sleep, because she can't stop thinking about the taste of his lips, the heat of his hands on her waist, her hips, her back, and she can't stop imagining what it would feel like to kiss him again.

 _Well, why don't you then?_

It's not the first time that wayward thought has crossed her mind, but for once she can't come up with an answer. It does occur to her that, while she knows how he feels about her, _he_ might not know how she feels about him. But there's absolutely nothing standing in the way of her tracking Fitz down and kissing him until he does and then some.

She's out of bed and down the hall before she can second guess herself. He's not in his bunk, so she heads to the only place he could possibly be this late; the lab.

He's buried in his research when she finds him, so focused that he doesn't seem to hear her approach. She doesn't wait for him to notice, just slams his book closed and spins his chair to face her.

Fitz scowls at her. "What d'you want, Jemma. I'm not in the-"

She cuts him off with a kiss. He's unresponsive just long enough for her anxiety to spike, and then he's standing up and backing her into the nearest hard surface. She thinks she hears glass shatter, but Fitz pulls her focus, tangling a hand in her hair and nipping at her lower lip.

Jemma moans, and he freezes against her. Then he's pulling away, scrubbing his hands down his face. "Jemma, what the-"

"Screw the cosmos," she says, gripping the desk behind her in an effort to stay upright.

Fitz just stares at her. "What?"

"You heard me," she says. "Screw. The. Cosmos. The Universe doesn't get to decide the outcome of our relationship, Fitz, we do."

He snorts. " _What_ relationship, Jemma?" He turns away from her. "You've made your choice perfectly clear. And it's not me. It's never been me."

Her eyes sting with tears, and she's wondering just how she could have screwed this up so badly. "It's always been you," she whispers.

Fitz turns back to her. "Maybe before Will," he says with a sad smile. "But you told me yourself that you love him. And, as much as it hurts, I want you to be happy, Jemma."

"Stop it!" she yells. "For God's sake, Leo, you need to stop sacrificing your own happiness out of some twisted sense of nobility! You deserve better than that, and it's killing me that you don't see that."

He shakes his head. "This isn't about me, Jem."

"Yes it is," she insists. "It is about you because I am _in love_ with you, Leo. And if you would stop being so deliberately obtuse for five seconds, you might actually see that."

He's speechless for a few minutes. "You're...in love with me?" he manages.

She nods. "Yes." She pushes off from the desk, walks over to him. She caresses his cheek, makes sure he's looking into her eyes. "I love you, Fitz, and I'm choosing _you_."

He tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "What about-"

She cuts him off with a kiss again. "My feelings for Will could never compare to what I feel for you, Fitz. Nothing can. I'm just sorry it took so long for me to realize."

His kiss is gentle, bears no trace of the desperation of earlier. "I love you," he whispers. She feels his cheeks lift with a grin. "'s probably about time I told you that, huh?"

Jemma laughs. "Better late than never, I suppose." She bumps his nose with hers. "I love you, too."

They stay like that until her yawn breaks the blissful silence. "Bedtime?" he asks, grinning.

She nods. "Your bunk or mine?" she asks, laughing at his skeptical look. "That's not how I meant it," she protests. "I just...sleep better when you're close."

"Okay," he says. "Mine then? 's closer than yours."

He takes her hand and leads her out of the lab, doesn't let go until they're in his room, the door shut safely behind them.

She snuggles under the covers as he gets ready for bed, and is already dozing by the time he climbs in beside her. He pulls her into him, and she settles in happily.

He presses a kiss to the top of her head. "Promise you'll still be here when I wake up?" he asks. "I'm gonna need proof that this wasn't all a dream."

She kisses his chest, right above his heart. "I promise."


End file.
